Ruminations
by by7the7sea
Summary: Jedikiah's thoughts about John after some of their confrontations.
1. Chapter 1 - Pilot

Ruminations

Disclaimer: The Tomorrow People is the property of the CW. No copyright infringement is intended.

xxx TTP xxx

Takes place after the showdown in the Pilot

xxx TTP xxx

Stunned silence filled the air. Jedikiah kept staring at the spot where John, Stephen and the others had been. Now shattered glass covered the floor. Jedikiah lowered the gun slowly trying to comprehend what just happened. It was not supposed to be possible for Tomorrow People to use their powers in this part of the building, yet somehow, they just did. The other Ultra agents turned to Jedikiah waiting for orders. He just dismissed them without saying another word and headed back to his office.

Jedikiah paced around his desk trying to calm down. He hadn't seen John since he left Ultra. Now, out of the blue, there he was.

He sat down at his desk to try and get back to work. Pulling open the top desk drawer to put the gun away in the secret compartment, that's when the memories started flooding back: Shooting John's foster father ... John in the chamber ready to be weaponized ... John training with Killian ... testing John in the safehouse... John standing in front of him for the first time in 6 years ... that last image lingered with him. John was a man now.

Then more memories ... comforting John when his friend had to be terminated ... the birthday he gave John the knife ... these memories caught him offguard. Then the regret of taking the shot at John came. How did it come to this?

This kid with so much promise, his best agent. So much drive and so much ... heart. That is what turned John against him in the end. John always had a protective nature, with the other foster kids and now with the Tomorrow People.

This plan of his and Roger's drove John away. He didn't want to lose him, but that was how it had to be. It was a sacrifice that needed to be made ... for their plan and, in some ways, for John. Hard to believe anything good could have come from this, but it did. It gave John a new purpose ... protecting the Tomorrow People from what Ultra had become. He took to it like a fish to water. Shooting Roger may have destroyed a part of his soul, but finding and protecting others like him gave him a higher purpose than he had ever had before. It was a purpose that he dutifully fulfilled. He was completely dedicated to it.

Another part of the plan was to drive John away from Ultra. Jedikiah knew John could take care of himself, but it was still a risk. There was risk in him staying at Ultra and risk in letting him go. Getting him away from Ultra seemed the lesser of two evils.

The risk of him staying was The Founder taking more of an interest in John's special talents, turning him into Ultra's cold-blooded assassin. On the other end of that spectrum, John either losing his powers or, more likely, his life because of not being able to follow orders to kill. Besides, as long as Jedikiah was with Ultra, he could help protect John, keep him under Ultra's radar.

Even though John played the part of a loyal, dutiful agent, Jedikiah suspected that eventually whatever John was assigned to do would get the better of him. He wouldn't be able to take the killing. He also didn't want the Founder to find out how powerful John could be.

John was engineered to be lethal for a reason. Not to kill Roger, that was an unfortunate turn of events, but to one day take out the Founder. When the Founder created the Machine and genetically linked it to Roger, they couldn't find another way out.


	2. Chapter 2 - Kill or Be Killed

Disclaimer: The Tomorrow People is the property of the CW. No copyright infringement is intended.

xxx TTP xxx

Lying in bed, not able to sleep, again his thoughts turned to his lost "son" and what he had done in the name of keeping up appearances. Yes, he had pointed a gun at John. He had no other choice with all those agents standing there witnessing the return of one of Ultra's most wanted. Then he pulled the trigger. If it had hit it's mark and killed John, well, Jedikiah didn't want to think about that. Luckily, amazingly, surprisingly, John escaped. Not sure how that happened, maybe Stephen inherited his father's time stopping ability? Saving John just as Roger saved him? Deep down he was relieved.

Now another confrontation, this time he instigated it. Partially wanting to check up on John again, make sure he knew of the danger ... that Killian was looking for him. It was good to see him. Jedikiah was sincere in offering a truce. He wanted to work with John again.

"He'll shred you alone, kid."

"That's a win for you" ... Ugh, that kid! John said it in such a matter-of-fact way. How can he be so flippant about his life?

"I am not your son." Oh John, you are. Maybe not by birth, but as he told John, he saved his life and raised him, protected him.

When Jedikiah deployed the Alpha team to take care of Killian and John, he decisively gave the order, but with a hope that John's ability to survive would win out. Luckily, it did. It shouldn't have surprised him. John is a survivor.


	3. Chapter 3 - Thanatos

Disclaimer: The Tomorrow People is the property of the CW. No copyright infringement is intended.

Author's Note: Italicized words indicate thoughts.

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Jedikiah wakes up covered in sweat and gasping for breath. It was that same dream … no, nightmare. Ever since he almost shot John, this nightmare has haunted him. It's John undergoing the treatment to remove the prime barrier. John almost died and that's the point that always wakes him up.

Jedikiah gets out of bed and walks over to the mirror, taking some deep breaths. He just needs to calm down. John didn't die, he's alive and well. Morgan walks over and tries to get him to tell her about it. She calls him a "web of contradictions" … if she only knew. Well, she's aware of some of it, but not all. He would never reveal all.

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After Russell had knocked him out, Jedikiah wakes up to find himself tied to a chair … he thinks he recognizes the place. Oh, right, it's that underground hideout Roger had found. Jedikiah has only been here once before. He preferred to stay away. Partially because it was not the sort of place he was accustomed to, but also because he would be less likely to give it up to the Founder.

Unsure of what is about to happen, he takes a deep breath to remain calm and to plan his next move. He's sure John and probably Cara and/or Russell will be visiting him soon enough.

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"Thanatos?" Jedikiah whistles. He wonders how they could have found out about that. Only Roger, Professor Crick and himself were aware of it. Maybe Stephen found some of his Dad's research. Doesn't matter at the moment, he just needs to stall long enough for them to either give up and release him or Ultra to track him down … which they will eventually.

Russell says "Just tell us what it means and we'll let you go."

"Simple as that?" He snarks back at Russell.

"Consider this your golden ticket," John offers.

Jedikiah takes a moment to assess John and surmises that John should know him better than that. The Tomorrow People don't have enough cards on the table to make him tell them anything. So he goes for the literal answer.

"It means death. In Greek, that is. Beyond that, I don't think I can really help you."

Cara accuses Jedikiah of lying and now Jedikiah suspects she's not as human as she should be. He will worry about that later. Enough of this.

"I'm not gonna say another word until I speak with John. Alone." He smirks as Cara and Russell leave. _That__'__s it, on your way, you__'__re dismissed._

When he looks back, John is intensely staring at him. "What do you want?" he says directly.

"To remind you that it is in both of our best interests that you get me out of this dank hovel." He says just as directly.

"Why would I help you?" John questions.

Taken aback for a moment, he quickly recovers with "Because if certain information came to light, it would, uh, be rather unfortunate for all parties involved. Surprising you even let them read my mind in the first place."

"Thanks to you and your ambush, they already know that I can kill," John says.

_Ah yes, the ambush. Right, John, but there__'__s more to it than that._

"You know it goes much deeper than that, John."

_Come on, listen to some sense. _

"What do you think they would do if they knew the whole truth about you?"

_You are giving me no choice here, kid, other than to play this card._

"Would they still consider you their leader? Their savior?"

_Hate to do this, but __…_

"We both know how this ends. Even these sewer rats will abandon you."

_Well done, John. You didn__'__t even flinch at that. Either you have much more faith in these people __… __your people __… __or you are in denial. _

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"Enough" John says as he restrains Cara.

Jedikiah drops his head forward and some blood drips from his mouth. When his head starts to clear a bit he starts to think maybe he pushed Cara more than he should. She threw quite a few good punches there. She was stronger than he expected.

Still trying to recover, he has his eyes closed when he feels something on his hands. He looks to see a small wet towel, then looks up to see John and he's relieved. John looks angry or upset, but Jedikiah just doesn't have it in him right now to figure it out.

Too battered to put on a front, he sincerely says "Thank you, John." Grateful that it was his protégé offering a bit of aid.

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"It's time to talk," Cara stated.

Evading the real reason they are here again, Jedikiah says "Sure, what do you want to talk about?" He goes on, but discerns they seem quite confident. It makes him wonder what information they have.

"We found Morgan," Russell whispers.

"I'm sorry, who?" He tries to deflect again.

"You're sleeping with a Tomorrow Person," John says gleefully.

Jedikiah's face goes stone cold, they've got him. They have found one of his very few weaknesses. As Cara tells him they are ready to reveal Morgan to his colleagues, he realizes he has no other choice. If he truly cares for Morgan, he will have to tell them about Crick.

After revealing that Thanatos is not a what but a who, he tells them "A nickname. For Professor Aldus Crick."

At this point they are interrupted by a voice, which he recognizes. One he hadn't heard in about six years. He finally receives confirmation of what he has long suspected … it was John, who had stolen TIM from Ultra.

TIM provides Crick's background. Jedikiah proceeds to enlighten them as to how they found and recruited Crick and what he helped them do. As he mentions the dangerous experimentation, he can't help but regretfully notice John flinch at that part.

He tries to dissuade them from finding Crick. After all, Jedikiah is trying to protect him. Crick was a valuable asset, colleague really.

But, seeing that they were very determined to give up Morgan to Ultra, he again had no choice but to tell them where the professor was hiding.

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Russell brings him some food on a tray, which gives Jedikiah an idea. It is way past time for him to try and escape and get some payback in the process. He accepts the food and starts to eat. Shortly thereafter, Jedikiah pretends to choke. Once Russell goes behind him and is close enough, he grabs the tray and slams it into Russell's face, stunning him. This gives Jedikiah the opportunity to flip Russell over and get the rags they used to bind his hands around Russell's throat.

Suddenly, Cara teleports in and knocks him over, proving what he already had guessed - Cara still has her powers.

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John enters the room. He doesn't look happy. Jedikiah watches him closely as he kneels down to cut the tie wraps around his feet. Jedikiah then notices John move behind him and unbuckle the belt that was holding him to the chair.

"Are we going somewhere?" he inquires.

John doesn't answer. He just goes to Jedikiah's hands and releases them. When John's hand swings back, it brushes against his jacket to reveal the gun. Jedikiah instantly knows what John has been tasked to do.

The look on John's face - a mixture of unwilling determination, sadness and, maybe, fear - provides Jedikiah another moment of regret for what he has made John, a killer.

It's forgotten though in the momentary rush of teleportation. It's been at least six years since he's felt that type of exhilaration. He flashes back to the first time Roger teleported him and, caught up in the moment, just has to share it.

"What a rush. You know, I never get tired of that. You know, when my brother, Roger, first ..." He starts to say but is interrupted.

"Shut up," John pleads.

He didn't need the words, the look on John's face said it all. The sadness, anger and betrayal exuding from John brought Jedikiah right back to the present situation, instantly sobering him up to the fact that John was pointing a gun directly at him. He should have known this was coming, but never let himself think about it. Even hoped to avoid it, if he could.

"I killed a man who cared for me. Who believed in me. Who was supposed to save our species."

Jedikiah was finally seeing how deeply wounded John truly was.

"All these years, I've been leading the Tomorrow People on a search for a dead man." The grave predicament John found himself causing restlessness.

It kills Jedikiah to see John's despair. Yet, it is Roger and him who caused it … all in the name of humanity, to save it.

"You think you are a liar? A hypocrite? A murderer? You're not, John." Jedikiah wished he could tell John the whole truth of what happened, but it's not time yet. John's not lying when he tells people Roger will come back, he will. He's not a hypocrite, because he was always loyal and a protector … he shot Roger because he was loyal to and protecting Ultra. He now is fully loyal to and protecting the Tomorrow People. He's not a murderer, because Roger isn't dead, he's in limbo. But Jedikiah can't tell him any of that. For one, John won't listen, but also it's too early to reveal any of this.

"I trusted you like a father and you used me. Don't you get it? I lost everything that day." And now Jedikiah is seeing that the pain goes even deeper than he realized.

"You're just a boy looking for a family. That's what you'll always be." He almost regrets saying it … almost.

Jedikiah saw the moment John decided to pull the trigger and closed his eyes. He held his breath with each round that was fired ... waiting for the pain when the bullets would hit their mark, waiting for death. But it didn't come.

John stops firing and Jedikiah slowly opens his eyes, checks to make sure that he somehow just didn't feel the bullets hitting him. Finally letting go of the breath he was holding when, in fact, John did not kill him, he turns around to see the holes in the wall, just over his shoulder. John was always an excellent shot.

Shortly thereafter, realization hit that if John did not leave soon, Ultra would be there. Before Jedikiah could manage to speak, John had more to say. Then the squealing of tires as agents rushed to the scene.

"I am sorry, John. But you had to know, once you had me above ground, they were gonna track me."

John tries to teleport away, but the D chips have been activated. Three agents arrive.

"I want him alive, you understand? Alive." Jedikiah orders then walks to the side.

Staying out of harm's way, he watches and is proud of how well John holds his own against three agents. Then more arrive and he knows it would be too much ... just a matter of time before John is taken down.

Once they have him on the ground and start pulling him back up, Jedikiah intervenes. "Okay. Okay, enough."

An overzealous agent makes a move to strike John once more.

Grabbing her arm before she follows through, Jedikiah commands "I said enough!" and pushers her arm away. He will deal with her later. Right now, they need to report back to Ultra.

_John, I don' t know how you will get out of this one._ Jedikiah thinks as he leads the six agents, two of which are dragging John along, to the vehicles waiting outside.


	4. Chapter 4 - Death's Door

Disclaimer: The Tomorrow People is the property of the CW. No copyright infringement is intended.

Author's Note: _"__text__" _indicates thoughts.

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As Jedikiah stood in the hall with Stephen, he kept off to the side. He knew what the Founder was capable of and didn't need to see it. It surprised him that Stephen insisted on watching the interrogation.

This was one time he wasn't sure what to feel or think. On the one hand, he didn't want John to suffer. On the other, he needed to keep up appearances.

Suddenly, Stephen stormed into the room. Jedikiah quickly followed him to make sure he could keep the situation under control. He knew there wasn't much he could do to save John, but he should be able to protect Stephen without arousing any suspicions.

"Pardon the interruption," Jedikiah said to excuse the intrusion. He will have to talk to Stephen about minding his manners.

"Misplaced compassion for him, of all people," the Founder tells Stephen. Little does he know that it's a characteristic of the whole family and that the one who loves him like a son is his partner. Jedikiah worked hard to keep his thoughts guarded.

_"Uh, oh, this isn't good" _Jedikiah thought as the Founder starts to encourage John to reveal his deepest, darkest secret.

"Come on. He ought to know how his father died," the Founder said almost gleefully. He was enjoying this a little too much.

"You?" Stephen said disbelievingly and looked to John.

John doesn't want to answer him and guiltily looks to Jedikiah, almost hoping Jedikiah can get him out of this. _"Sorry, kid, I can't help you"_ is all Jedikiah can think as he returns the look.

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When Jedikiah arrived at Morgan's place, he let himself in with his key. He longed to be with her. She could help him relax and focus after the miserable day he just had. Ultra had John and he wasn't sure how to save him. Aside from the fact that John had just spared his life when he shouldn't have, he needed to figure out a way to protect John without revealing where his loyalties truly lie.

He heard the sound of teleporting. "Morgan, I ..."

He turned around to see Cara. _This can't be good._ After she lets him know they have his girlfriend, he just needs to figure out the best way to handle this. Needing to see Morgan, and to buy him some time, he asked for proof that she was okay. Cara held out her hand and he took it. Flashes of Morgan tied up in the Lair were sent through his mind.

"All right, what do you want?" He didn't need to ask. It was obvious.

"What do you think?" Cara replied sternly. "John. Hurt him and I will destroy the one thing in this world that you care about."

"_Unfortunately, I've already hurt John more than you can know. Also, guess what, Cara, there is more than just one thing that I care about in this world and you are here about one of the others. Although now you should be more worried about what the Founder will do to him."_

"What do you want me to do?" Jedikiah solemnly replied. He started to get an idea about how he could help John, but was momentarily distracted when Cara referred to John as the "thing" she loved. _Really, Cara? __"__The _thing_ you love? I'm beginning to think John means more to me than he does to you.__"_

As Cara teleported away, that clued him in as to what he could do to get John out. The plan he ended up with was simple really. Jedikiah could use Stephen to help John. The Founder wouldn't hurt Stephen. He's too important to the Founder's plans.

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Taking a spare key, he headed down to the room where John was being held. He dismissed the guards. As he waited for them to leave, he looked at John. Except for the facts that John didn't work at Ultra and hated him, he was proud of what John had become. He was strong and perfect (with his help). If only he could reveal the bigger plan that drove him, maybe he could repair their relationship.

John's being petulant as Jedikiah walked over to announce that, seeing as he trained John, he knew he wouldn't talk. He was just there to say goodbye.

As he leaned over to give John a fatherly kiss on the forehead, he slipped the key into John's hand and whispered "wait for Stephen".

"Goodbye, son," Jedikiah said. Keeping up with the petulance, John spit on him. It almost surprised Jedikiah, but he recovered by saying "true to the end." Now he had to go and put the second part of his plan in motion ... manipulating Stephen by confronting him about not taking Cara's powers.

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Back in his office, he reviewed the tapes of the time Stephen was to have taken Cara's powers. Where was that moment it happened? Just as he found it, Stephen arrived. Jedikiah showed it to Stephen and presented his theory about Stephen stopping time.

Once he got Stephen to confess his true feelings, that he loved Cara, this became easier for Jedikiah.

"I know what it feels like not to want to see someone you love get hurt. In fact, that is why I asked you here today." In the duplicity of his mind, he's really talking about two people here ... Morgan and John. "You see, I too have grown attached to one of your kind," _really two, three if you count Roger. _

Jedikiah tells him about Morgan and how the Tomorrow People are holding her hostage until he sets John free, which he can't.

"But you can," Jedikiah tells Stephen.

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Jedikiah heard gunshots and a commotion in the hallway. After checking his watch, he smiled. That was just about on time. He rushed out of his office to see what he knows is going on ... John using Stephen as a shield.

When he reached the agents, one had just fallen to the floor after being shot by John. There was no blood, so he knew the agent was fine, just winded from the impact of the bullets hitting his vest.

"Hold your fire," Jedikiah yells, then calms down to talk to John. "You know there's no way out of here. Your powers don't work now, John. Let the kid go."

As John took out two D chips and teleported out, Jedikiah kept up his Ultra facade. It was actually easy to do once he realized that the Founder will be paying him a visit to find out how John was able to escape on his watch.

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Stephen and Jedikiah reached the agreed upon exchange site - Montauk Point. While waiting for the others to show up, he made a decision. If John shows up, it shouldn't be hard to get them to agree to it. It plays into what John believes in most, protecting the Tomorrow People.

"Stephen, I want them to take Morgan back to their hideout," Jedikiah said as he stared at the ground.

"What?" Stephen responded. "Really?"

"Yes, she will be safer with them," Jedikiah looked at Stephen. "As hard as it is to believe, I really do care about her."

Russell showed up and looked around.

"I take it John made it back to your little underground grotto safely," Jedikiah stated.

A moment later, Cara teleported in with Morgan. No John. _Well this just got a bit more difficult _Jedikiah thought.

Jedikiah was relieved to see that Morgan was safe, but had other business to attend to.

"I want you to take Morgan back with you," he said to Cara. It doesn't surprise him when both Cara and Russell reject the idea and Morgan objects.

"John slipped Ultra on my watch," Jedikiah tells Morgan. "That means there's going to be a microscope on me, and the Founder's going to sift through my brain until he gets to the bottom of it and if he finds you, Morgan, the only way you can be safe is if I don't know where you are."

"That's not going to happen," Cara said.

"He wants you to keep Morgan safe." Stephen said, trying to encourage Cara to agree.

"Protecting your own, that's what John's all about, right?" Jedikiah said. "_This is why it would have been easier if John had shown up.__"_

"Please don't do this," Morgan pleaded with Jedikiah.

"Please take her or I'll call a kill squad myself," Jedikiah stated as he turned to leave.

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"Well it's unfortunate that John escaped. But remember, he was a very formidable agent." Jedikiah tried to keep the pride to a minimum.

"Yes, I also seem to remember that you took quite a shine to him personally. Is there something you want to tell me, Jedikiah? I'd like to spare you the humiliation of having your mind read."

The Founder stood behind Jedikiah. Jedikiah knew this was going to be very tricky. How would he be able to hide how he was trying to protect John? Then inspiration hit him, offer up one of his other secrets to deflect from the other, more important one. He decided to reveal his relationship with Morgan. She's with the Tomorrow People now, so she should be safe. Besides, it should be easier to protect a "run-of-the-mill" TP than one of Ultra's most wanted.

"No, you're right. There is something that for lack of a better way of saying it, I have been deceiving you." Next comes another lie, it still surprises how easy it comes to him. "It has nothing to do with John. But I am hiding something from you. A personal relationship. "

Jedikiah proceeds to tell the Founder about Morgan.


End file.
